don't be careless when you don't have wings (paradisist) wrote,
don't be careless when you don't have wings
paradisist

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How To Get Famous (for all the wrong reasons)

Title: How To Get Famous (for all the wrong reasons)
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol
Rating: PG
Summary: In which (a very drunk) Chanyeol hits the club and and Baekhyun gets his revenge.












"ALL THE BITCHES IN THE CLUB GONNA HEAR ME RAWRRRRRRR."

"Dude, this is a gay bar," someone shouts.

"ALL THE GAY-GUYS IN THE CLUB GONNA HEAR ME R——"

"Oh my god shut up shut up SHUT UP SHIT HE'S COMIN WE'RE GONNA DIE——"





The blond haired man approaches with an undisguised scowl clouding his perfect face.

Baekhyun's face pales and he smacks Chanyeol's arm with added tenacity.





"I'm the manager of EXO bar, Kris——"

Chanyeol smiles, baring his teeth and all the stuff stuck to it.


"Ayo whaddup Kreeeeesssss."


Baekhyun doesn't dare to look at Kris in the eye and risk getting Petrified by his poison glare.


"May I ask that you get out of my——"

Chanyeol sways unsteadily and his cheeks puff up.

"——club," Kris says, just as Chanyeol erupts, spewing the acidified contents of his stomach all over the man's pristine suit.


Baekhyun stares in horror as the man's eyes roll in their sockets. One moment later he's sprawled on the glitter-spammed floor, eyes widened in frozen shock.


Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun.

He grins cheekily, his right eye twitching.

Baekhyun inhales sharply. Oh no. Not that smile.




"THE MANAGER IS DOWN," he shouts to the crowd in a sing-song voice.

All hell breaks loose.









It's all his fault.



"I am legal," Chanyeol tells Baekhyun.

"Uh huh."

"I can drink."

"Uh huh."

"I bought a bottle of soju to celebrate."

"Uh huh."

Baekhyun knows he should have listened, should have stopped him. Chanyeol and alcohol meant mass destruction. But he had been too caught up in his fanfics to pay any heed to the sound of the cork popping and the gulp-gulp-gulp of Chanyeol downing the alcohol that followed.






"Baekhyunnnniiiieeeeeee."

"Uh huh."

"Let's go clubbing."

"Uh huh."

"Ask me whyyy."

"Uh huh."

"Cause we're legallll."

"Uh huh."


Baekhyun doesn't realize that Chanyeol's wasted until they're in the club.

Because, well, who gets drunk after just one bottle of soju?


Chanyeol, it seems.










Baekhyun is mortified.

He can never step into EXO again.

Because he's pretty sure no one has ever puked on the bitchfaced manager before.

It wasn't even him who did it. It was stupid Park Chanyeol.

The guy who's currently scattering everyone off the dance floor and dancing (horribly) to Miss A's "Bad Girl Good Girl".

Oh god.









"Chanyeol——"

"YOU DON'T KNOW ME, YOU DON'T KNOW ME——"

"Just——"

"SO SHUT UP BOY, SO SHUT UP BOY——"

Baekhyun gives up and decides to wait it out.

The song ends.



"Are you done?"

Chanyeol scratches his chin, as if in thought.

And then he smiles.

"GOODBYE BABY GOODBYEEE——"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT UP."







"Your friend is... hyper," the bartender (whose name is Sehun) says.

"He's fucking crazy," Baekhyun grumbles crankily, watching the man in question roll around the dance floor, all 1.85 metres of him tripping everyone who's trying to dance.

"Wanna see something funny?"

Baekhyun shrugs.

"Over there."

He follows the skinny finger and sees a tiny CCTV camera high up on the ceiling.

An evil smile creeps onto his face.








"Oh my god——"

"Uh huh."

"This is shit——"

"Uh huh."

"My fucking head——"

"Uh huh."

"Are you even listening to me? I said, my life sucks and my head is hurting like nobody's business——"

"Wanna see something funny?"







Chanyeol stares at his IPhone, watching the video Baekhyun sent him the link to.

His hand shakes.


He scrolls down to see how many people have seen it.

Eighteen thousand, nine hundred and sixty-eight.

In one night.



He scrolls down somemore to read the comments.



"This is epic."

"This is sick."

"The dude's on crack."



He feels his headache intensify.


He scrolls up.

"Crazy Chanyeol At The Club" was uploaded by BaconStrips1992.







"BYUNBAEKHYUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!"







Baekhyun smirks into the phone. He has Sehun to thank for this.























a/n: Drop me a comment if you liked it. :)

trolololol how did this happen i don't even know
drunk chanyeol at the club and evil baekhyun is the best thing ever not



Sequel: all's fair in the name of fame (and revenge)


Tags: !fanfic, crack, exo, length:oneshot, pairing:baekhyun/chanyeol, rating:pg
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